So I don't know what it is lately - maybe being around a lot of people at work or whatever - but I have been thinking a lot about my future, as far as love and relationships are concerned. I definitely am feeling the urge to connect with someone new on a deep level. I just have always felt like I have so much love to give, but never anyone to give it to. And it's like, whenever I meet a guy that I'm interested in, it seems they're only interested in sex. What is that? Like, why is it that [most young] men put SO much importance on sex. So much so, that they miss out on these amazing opportunities for so much more? I just don't get it.
I made the decision a few years ago that has really changed the way I think about sex. The reality is, for me - sex comes with love. Of course it's a physical urge, but it's not worth doing at all if it's not with someone you love. Of course there are lots of guys I could have had sex with recently if I really wanted to, but I haven't. And honestly, I won't. I say a lot of things, but that's something I really mean. I just think that if I sleep with someone that I don't love and that I know for a fact doesn't love me, I'm selling myself way short of what I deserve. And I'm too emotional of a being to handle a situation like that. I'm not going to mask my emotions to maintain a relationship of casual sex. That's ridiculous...
This was never a religious choice for me. It's all about my own self worth and giving myself a chance to love and to be loved.
I have realized in life that as long as you stay true to yourself, are a good person, and be patient, good things will come. Although I am feeling a little restless right now, I am not going to try and rush anything or make anything happen with anyone. I know it will in time. I'm just working on me right now and eventually some guy who really wants to know ME will come along. And when that happens, I have to be strong enough to have strength and conviction in my choice...
It is so difficult sometimes. But the one thing that I always will remember is the way it feels after "the deed is done," and you're still on an island. Of course it's easier said than done, because in that moment you're not thinking about the future. But I guess what I have to do is not put myself in situations where I have to work against animalistic instincts...lol. Because in those situations in the past, I've always lost. Of course I'm older and wiser now though. I'm really glad for the things that have happened in my past to teach me those lessons.
Anyway, just needed to get that off my chest. Until next time..
Peace and Love. ♥
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2 comments:
Girl you are on the right track. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? You owe it to yourself to hold out until a guy gets to know u first. MAKE him take you on DATES. Say no to 'lets watch a movie' texts past 11pm. If he doesn't wanna make the effort... then he was probably only out for one thing to begin with. And if you respect yourself, the good ones will respect you in return. You are worth it!
thanks gal!!! i totally know what you mean. we've all gotten the late night texts lol. such a waste of my time!!
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