Lay me down

- Friday, December 6, 2013

My feelings this week can only be described through the lyrics of Sam Smith's ballad, "Lay Me Down"

Yes, I do, I believe
That one day I will be where I was, right there, right next to you.
And it's hard, the days just seem so dark,
The moon and the stars are nothing without you.
Your touch, your skin, where do I begin?
No words can explain the way I'm missing you.
Tonight this emptiness, this hole that I've inside
These tears, they tell their own story.

 You told me not to cry when you were gone,
But the feeling's overwhelming,
It's much too strong.

 Can I lay by your side?
Next to you, you...
And make sure you're alright?
I'll take care of you.
I don't want to be here if I can't be with you tonight...

 I'm reaching out to you...
Can you hear my call?
This hurt that I've been through...
I'm missing you, missing you like crazy.

 You told me not to cry when you were gone,
But the feeling's overwhelming, 
It's much too strong..

 Can I lay by your side?
Next to you, you...
And make sure you're alright?
I'll take care of you.
I don't want to be here if I can't be with you tonight.

 Lay me down tonight.
Lay me by your side.
Lay me down tonight.
Lay me by your side.

 Can I lay by your side?
Next to you, you.

 It's really all in that first paragraph. That's all I have to say about that.

Live, Laugh, Love, Sing

- Tuesday, November 5, 2013

It's been over a year since I posted last. So much has changed. My entire life, my entire being, and everything about me has changed!

I quit teaching in November of 2012. I was at the lowest point of my life, extremely depressed and didn't like where I saw my life going.....nowhere.

I started singing again and went back to grad school. I live in Chicago now, and I've lost around 60 pounds.

I feel like a new person, and a more authentic, much happier, healthier, and confident version of myself.

I've been dating, which has been a new experience and also changed the way I look at myself.

First, there was Peter. He was really great. Super sexy, 25 year old music teacher, gentleman, and our sexual chemistry was OFF THE CHARTS. We had quite a bit in common and he showed me some great times, and so fun places in the city. We dated for about 6-7 weeks. It ended because he rediscovered feelings for his ex girlfriend. It was a very amicable break up. No hard feelings. I cherish the moments we had, but I was ok with it ending.

Now, we have...we'll call him Taylor Lautner. So Taylor and I were really great friends, always there for each other, being completely honest with each other, and lifting each other up. However, Taylor and I were just best friends, because Tracie was dating Peter, and Taylor was dating.....Jennifer Love Hewitt. Taylor and Jennifer went on a "break" around the time Tracie and Peter started going out. And then when T and P called it quits, Taylor and Jenn ended it for good...that very same day. Just a coincidence. Tracie and Taylor were both upset, and needed the advice and comfort of a good, brutally honest friend. So they went out for brunch together the next day and talked, and it was a great afternoon. Over the next couple of week, Tracie started showing interest in other guys again, and asking Taylor for advice as usual, and Taylor would oblige her with honesty and reassure her of her greatness. Taylor always saw the best in Tracie. One day, Tracie realized she might think of Taylor as more than a friend....they spent more and more time together, and it was clear that those feelings were mutual. Meanwhile Jennifer, though the ex, is still around. Jenn and Taylor were together long enough to be common-law spouses! Tracie was aware of this and proceeded with caution. But Tracie and Taylor could not stop what was happening between them...it was like gravity was pulling them into each other, and they were powerless against it. Well, one day T and T finally got physical. And now they are super happy and loving each other's company. But it's a delicate situation, because Jennifer and Tracie are sort of friends, and Tracie doesn't want to cause any hard feelings. Taylor is pretty confident that what is happening is fine, natural, and none of Jenn's busness. So they continue as friends at school, and lovers elsewhere. They are happy and they are falling in love. To be conitnued.....

So yeah. LOL. I love Chicago, I'm happy to be singing again, I'm confident in my body, and I love pretty much everything about my life right now. The Taylor situation is tricky, but wonderful. :)

UGH.

- Sunday, May 5, 2013

I just need to get some stuff out of my brain.

Its such a hard thing to say, but I am really insecure. ESPECIALLY when it comes to guys. I have NEVER been confident with the opposite sex. When I was younger, I never felt pretty or attractive to guys, and I think I overcompensated by being overly sexual, because that always got their attention. That has sort of evolved into a much more dangerous pattern. What happens is this: I start liking a guy in a crush sort of way for whatever reason, and I convince myself that I just want to have sex with them. I think subconsciously I'm too afraid of being rejected romantically because I just have never felt like a guy has LIKED me more than just for sex. Anyway, I flirt with them and have sex with them (it's easy to get sex...guys will have sex with anything). And of course, after the sex, I REALLY fall for them...and OF COURSE they don't...because I was the easy girl. No one wants to date the easy girl. Duh. And then I get butt hurt and upset that they don't want to be with me or don't like me. It's really messed up.

So that brings me to my current situation. There's a guy I really liked when I was in Louisiana. We worked together, and I liked him, and then I invited him over to my place, we got drunk, and had sex. After we had sex, I kept wanting to hang out and he somehow never could, and I got pissed and things just fizzled. This was 2007. Fast forward to 2010...we reconnected somehow and he told me he really did like me at the time, but something something blah blah blah. So I was like ok whatever. So we exchanged numbers, but didn't really talk much after that one conversation. Fast forward to 2013. He follows me on instagram, and one random night in March we start texting and things get very sexual....and we continue texting until now (about 7 weeks, pretty much everyday). Until about 2 weeks ago, it was only texting, pretty much just sexual. But recently we've had phone conversations and we've gotten deeper, and he's told me things like I'm special and he wants to be honest with me about this and that....and we're seeing each other next week for an amazing night of sex. Which is great. The only problem is, I can really feel myself starting to like him. And I KNOW for a fact that after we have sex, it'll get way worse. He does seem to like me too, but sometimes I question it. And I know that nothing can REALLY come of this because it's long distance, and I'm moving across the country in a few months. I know all of this, but I can't stop myself from continuing to talk to him, and I know I will have sex with him...because I know it'll be good...and I'm starving for male attention, and he's giving me what I need right now. It's just that on days like today, when he doesn't text me very much for whatever reason, I'm left feeling neglected and undesirable...and I start thinking things like, "Maybe he's trying not to talk to me as much because he can tell I'm starting to like him, and he doesn't want me too because he's not that into me...etc" It's a shitty feeling. I wish I was secure enough to not care that he didn't text me today, or that he didn't call. I wish I just knew that he was into me and didn't have to question it. But why would he be into me? I'm just a vagina to him.... At one point he was just a penis to me but it became more for me and that sucks. I'm so stupid for continuing to put myself in these situations. But I'm here now.

Ugh. And now I'm just feeling super needy and lonely. And I take it out on my best friend for leaving me to go be with his boo. And I should be happy for him. I just feel like shit.

Dear Scott Hoying...

- Friday, July 27, 2012


Dear Scott,

I know you probably get tons of messages, but felt the need to share something with you... You inspire me! I'm a choir director in Houston and was an allstater/opera singer in my past life. I made the decision to become a teacher when I decided I couldn't handle the "life" of a performer. I have been kind of living someone else's life the past year since I began teaching...and not singing AT ALL (except in the classroom). I think I was afraid I would realize how much I missed it and get depressed...I discovered PTX this year and absolutely fell in love. Your voice makes me feel so many things, but most of all, INSPIRATION. You inspired me to start singing again, and share my voice with people. The passion and sincerity in your performances brings me to tears, and makes me remember why I love performing. I listen to your voice almost daily!! It soothes me. Yes, I'm still teaching (I do love it!), but I'm singing again...and SO happy for that. On top of all that you seem super awesome. I know I tweet you weird things constantly (I'm weird) like let's be besties (offer is still on the table :) and we have mutual friends btw) but I do find it amazing that someone who is...20 (?) is so talented, humble, and awesome. Just wanted you to know how you and PTX have impacted my life. I am so happy for your success and feel so much Texas pride!! I am so looking forward to your show in Houston in September and hopefully I'll get to give you a hug and thank you in person!! Me and my friends will be the 5 hot black girls in the very front dancing inappropriately. :) Take care and enjoy your time in Texas!

Love,
Tracie

I suck at blogging. Updates on Travels, Teaching, Canada, and Summer Plans.

- Tuesday, April 5, 2011

First of all, I suck at blogging.

I had this great outlet and way of getting my thoughts out there, and then suddenly I got lazy. Or I was just so content with life, that I didn't feel the need to talk about it. LOL. Whatever the case may be, I clearly haven't blogged since June....and I'm kind of OK with it. But in case any of you were wondering (if you don't follow me on facebook), here's what's been going on with my life.

Summer was fun, but low key. I was pretty broke. But I did get to see a good friend whom I hadn't seen in 2 years!
Then I started teaching in August. It's wonderul. I love my students, etc. The greatest part is now I have money, and I feel like a real adult. I've been able to travel a little. And save. Which has been really cool. Gonna try and get that car in January 2012!

So I went to Boston in October for a weekend. So fun. Had a great time with Fred, Sarah, and other Boston friends whom I miss dearly.

In November I went to Baton Rouge with Jawan. We had a blast and a half. Good seeing old college friends, but it reminded me how OUT of college I am. lol. I felt a little old.

The holidays were wonderful. For the first time in about 18 years, I got to see BOTH my parents on Christmas. We went to New Iberia and it was pretty fun. I got some nice gifts and had a nice time with family.

In February, I went to TMEA for the first time as a teacher! It was amazing. I had 2 students who made all-state! I was incredibly proud. I had a blast doing all the teacher stuff and I saw SO MANY friends from LSU who are now teachers. I mainly hung out with Darren. He is such a blast. I had a nice hotel room to myself which made me feel even more grown up. LOL.

Last month I celebrated my 25th birthday! Whoa. And I did what I was supposed to do - I got to cross something off my bucket list. Skiing. Well....attempting....in CANADA!

It was such a great time with Cat Thomson! She did some amazing things for me for my birthday, and we had a blast just hanging out, catching up, drinking, etc. Great Spring Break Vacay.

Next destination MUST be Hawaii! Well, next big destination. It's gonna be expensive.

So, right now I'm at a place where I totally have spring fever. It's been a wonderful school year but I'm READY for summer!!! We have about 6 weeks left, and I have big plans for the Summer. Big family Disney trip is in the works for July, plus I really want to take the kids to Schlitterbahn, and maybe we can do a Padre trip. I also am of course gonna do the annual tubing day (or 2), Barton, and lots of pool time/barbecues! I can't wait...I LOVE SUMMER!!!


I have a confession

- Monday, June 28, 2010

So...it's about time I address my obsession with professional male athletes. I mean, I know it's nothing original. I just get so heated up when I see a talented, passionate, HOT male athletes out there doing their thing....it's inevitable. And they have to have a seemingly intriguing personality as well. I guess it's because I'm just now starting to get into sports pretty hardcore. I'm not super into football yet, but I'm sure that living with my mom during football season for the first time in 7 years will change that! So here are a few of my obsessions:


Eddie House (formerly of the Boston Celtics...now of the Knicks):


Carmelo Anthony (of the Denver Nuggets):


Rajon Rondo (of the Boston Celtics):


Rafael Nadal (Tennis):

So.....yeah, they're hot. Oh how I wish I could have one evening with each of them. LOL. That's all.

♥

BUCKET LIST

- Monday, June 21, 2010

OK, so sometime last week I made this awesome decision.


Backtrack - the past couple of birthdays I have run into the typical dilemma - what to do? Where to go? I guess after 21, I wasn't as excited about birthdays. But the great thing about birthdays is they come every year. AND - you can do anything you choose with a little money and planning ahead.

SO - back to my decision. I decided that from here on out (the rest of my able-bodied life), I want to do something I've never done on/for my birthday! This would include going places, doing activities, etc...anything I've ever wanted to do but never made it a priority!

So starting next year (the big 25) I will be crossing things off. The first thing I want to do is VEGAS! Not original, but new to me! So, for my purposes right now, I will start a list of things I wanna do/places I wanna go...and i'll add on as I think of more! And I'll clearly do some of this stuff in the Summer/not on my birthday...lol. I guess it's kinda alike a Bucket List? I'm getting an early start. We're all dying anyway, right?

Locations:
Las Vegas, NV
San Francisco, CA
San Diego, CA
Washington, D.C.
Portland, OR
Canada (in general, lol)
Hawai'i
New Zealand
Sydney, AUS
Cancun, MEX
Cozumel, MEX
Brazil
Austria
Ireland
Czech Republic
Sicily
Dubai, UAE
Greece
Japan
Spain
South Africa
Northern Lights
Grand Canyon
Niagara Falls

Activities:
Skydiving
Scuba-diving
Snorkeling
Swim with Dolphins
Jump off a cliff into the ocean
Skiing
Surfing
Whitewater Rafting
Ride in a Hot Air Balloon
Ride an Elephant
Walk a marathon
Try to do the trapese
Go to the Olympics
Go to a major tennis tournament (with mom)
Go to the Conan O'Brien Show
Go to a ballet
Become fluent in French


OK...that's a lot. I better get started. LOL.
I'm of the firm belief that you can do anything or go anywhere you want in life, as long as you make the decision to. You just have to make a list, devise a plan, and execute.

I'm Out.
love.




Change, Love, & Loss

Labels: , , , , , , , , , , , , - Friday, June 18, 2010

Well, it's been a while. A lot has happened. I will try to sum things up the best I can.


First of all, my Boston Celtics made it to game 7 of the NBA finals against the Lakers, and came up 4 points short. It really hurts. I know it may sound silly to you non sports fans, but as a die hard fan - I am very attached to my team. When they win, I feel like I've won. When they lose, I lose. I could barely sleep the night before game 7 and was nervous and jittery all day. It hurts so much to see a group of guys that love each other, fight so hard night in and night out, and personify the true meaning of "TEAM," lose. To come this far and lose. And to know that this was their last, BEST opportunity to win. Ahhh....it sucks. But I love my team and I'm proud of them. I'm sad for them, and I feel for them. But....there is always hope for the future. Celtic Pride for life. I'm in it for the long haul. "And that's all I have to say about that," -Forrest Gump.

LOL.

In other news, we moved. Yeah. I know I was supposed to post a big dramatic blog about moving and the house and the times in the house, etc....it was just too hectic of a time. And very emotional. I had to be strong. I didn't need to give in to nostalgia. It was a hard situation, but it was our situation, and we had to get through it. It seemed like leading up to the move, everything that could go wrong, WAS going wrong. Closing was delayed. Money problems. The apartment almost wasn't ready. Bank screw-ups. The list goes on. BUT, I am sooo thankful to GOD because we made that really tough transition with minimal tears and only 1-2 days of "funk" to get through. I'm so proud of my mom for making it. But I don't think I've given her any choice. lol. I don't let her mope. You gotta pick yourself up when you get knocked down, and keep on moving. That's life.

I did have one day that was exceptionally hard. Really, just a few moments. The last day we were able to go in the house, after we'd already moved into the apartment. I had to go by there to fix one last hole in the wall and paint over it before going to David's grad party. I thought I was ok, but when I got to the Neffs' I broke down a little. To know that I was never going to go in that house again...it was sad. I hated crying at David's party, and taking attention away from his achievement. But it was brief. I hugged Susan and I cried. I loved that house, and I loved my adolescence growing up in that house. All the family times, friend times, mayhem, and peace. Holidays, birthdays, barbecues and sleepovers. That was a cherished 14 years, but I can only hope that the next 14 will bring just as much happiness. One thing I've definitely learned through this is that, as cliché as it sounds, home IS where the heart is. Mom and I have moved into this apartment, and honestly, it feels like home. Yes, there's less space. We bump into each other a little more. We don't have a yard. But it's ok. We're doing ok. We get through everything together, in love.

Speaking of love, I've been loving my Summer. It's been low key, but I've already had some great days with friends and family. I love the people in my life. I'm excited for what each day may bring. I hope to start getting out more and maybe to meet a man at some point. lol. We'll see.

One thing I am NOT happy about is how my good eating/exercise habits have totally fallen to the wayside. Once I started working at Maggiano's, it was almost instantaneous. My sleep schedule immediately got off track which ruined my energy for exercise. Also, I started slowly nibbling on the Maggiano's food which led to basically eating whatever I wanted. So everything is out of whack. I wasn't making enough money for what it did to my life, so I quit (after I applied at Goodwill Staffing). I will be fine to live/pay bills through July with what I made. I should be starting a temp job any day now. I didn't want to have a period of not working, but I had to give Mag's 2 weeks notice, and I didn't know when Goodwill would call (they only give 24 hours notice before you have to start) so I didn't want to have to just up and quit. lol....We'll see. In the mean time, I'm applying for other temp jobs. We'll see what comes of it.

That's about it.

OH! And Jazmyne and Samuel graduated from 5th grade. haha. My babies are growing up (especially Jaz). She moves in with us this weekend. Gonna be fun!

I'll leave you with some pics from the past few weeks.









SO BUSY!!!

- Sunday, June 6, 2010

Hey y'all....sorry I haven't updated in a couple of weeks. Everything has been super crazy and I've had no time to put up a quality blog, but SOON!!!!


XOXO

Missing Out

Labels: , , , , , - Thursday, May 20, 2010

UGH! I hate when I feel like I'm missing out on good times. I really have to learn to get over this at some point in life. Jawan is in Baton Rouge right now, and I'm SO upset I couldn't go! He is visiting with old LSU friends. I really wanted to go, but with work, lack of money, and a big move coming up, there was NO way I could take part.


I hate this feeling. It's not even that I'm jealous that other people get to see him or that Baton Rouge is so awesome (because it's absolutely not, lol), but I just know they're gonna have a good time and make great memories WITHOUT me. I mean obviously if I were there it would be like 100,000x more fun, but who cares lol.

So why is it that I can't let it go? I'm totally content here, excited about the choir show tomorrow, making money, having fun. But I'm bitterly upset when I think about all my LSU friends hanging out, laughing, reminiscing, having fun for one last hoorah. Maybe that's it. I know I will get to go visit eventually - but when I do, many of them will be gone. And it just won't be the same. Oh well. I guess I'll stop whining now. LOL. Just another Tracie vent-session.

TTFN. ♥

...to make you feel my love.

Labels: , , , - Monday, May 17, 2010

So I don't know what it is lately - maybe being around a lot of people at work or whatever - but I have been thinking a lot about my future, as far as love and relationships are concerned. I definitely am feeling the urge to connect with someone new on a deep level. I just have always felt like I have so much love to give, but never anyone to give it to. And it's like, whenever I meet a guy that I'm interested in, it seems they're only interested in sex. What is that? Like, why is it that [most young] men put SO much importance on sex. So much so, that they miss out on these amazing opportunities for so much more? I just don't get it.


I made the decision a few years ago that has really changed the way I think about sex. The reality is, for me - sex comes with love. Of course it's a physical urge, but it's not worth doing at all if it's not with someone you love. Of course there are lots of guys I could have had sex with recently if I really wanted to, but I haven't. And honestly, I won't. I say a lot of things, but that's something I really mean. I just think that if I sleep with someone that I don't love and that I know for a fact doesn't love me, I'm selling myself way short of what I deserve. And I'm too emotional of a being to handle a situation like that. I'm not going to mask my emotions to maintain a relationship of casual sex. That's ridiculous...

This was never a religious choice for me. It's all about my own self worth and giving myself a chance to love and to be loved.

I have realized in life that as long as you stay true to yourself, are a good person, and be patient, good things will come. Although I am feeling a little restless right now, I am not going to try and rush anything or make anything happen with anyone. I know it will in time. I'm just working on me right now and eventually some guy who really wants to know ME will come along. And when that happens, I have to be strong enough to have strength and conviction in my choice...

It is so difficult sometimes. But the one thing that I always will remember is the way it feels after "the deed is done," and you're still on an island. Of course it's easier said than done, because in that moment you're not thinking about the future. But I guess what I have to do is not put myself in situations where I have to work against animalistic instincts...lol. Because in those situations in the past, I've always lost. Of course I'm older and wiser now though. I'm really glad for the things that have happened in my past to teach me those lessons.

Anyway, just needed to get that off my chest. Until next time..

Peace and Love. ♥

Eastern Conference Semis!!

Labels: , , , - Saturday, May 15, 2010

All I have to say is this:


CELTICS ADVANCE!!! BYE-BYE LEBRON!

I'm feeling good about this year....

Let's hang banner #18!!!





I spoke too soon...

- Thursday, May 13, 2010

So man....it seems like the drama never ends in my life!


First of all, I spoke too soon about the apartment. Well, actually we got screwed but... technicalities. Basically, we had a bunch of drama because of the fact that I wasn't officially employed at the time, and my mom was unemployed as well. And of course she was behind on her mortgage payments (which we had already told them), and they told us with a cosigner we would be approved. They took all of our app fees and deposit, and then on Tuesday they told us we were declined because you have to be current (within the last 3 months) on mortgage payments. (BTW, they had already told us on Thursday we were approved. Hence why I posted a blog about it.) They basically took our money KNOWING we'd be declined. Mom was really upset. I knew everything would work out though, somehow.

And it's a damn good thing we got declined, because I found a review online saying that our EXACT APARTMENT was infested with black mold, and had caused the previous tenants to acquire respiratory infections. WTF?! Who does that??

But everything happens for a reason, and the next day I found a more beautiful, more secure, more spacious apartment NEXT DOOR - with a balcony overlooking the pool! And we're OFFICIALLY ACCEPTED! Thank God! Here's the model version:

Bar Area:

Mom's Room:

Kitchen:

My room/bathroom:

Living Room:

So yeah. That's the deal with that. :)

Working at Maggiano's is super fun. A lot of fun people to talk to. A lot of tips. But it is quite tiring. My body just wants to collapse by the end of the shift, lol. And it's soooo hard not to eat the food. The first 2 days were bad, but I'm adjusting and getting used to the temptation lol...Pray for me!

Mother's day was good. I woke up super early and made mom breakfast and gave her flowers:


Spinach and Cheese omelette, Turkey Bacon, Wheat Toast with Grape Jam, and Strawberries:

It was delish. Then later we went to my brother's house (he had made delicious lasagna), and mom got another card and CAKE! Aghhh. Too much food. lol. But it's ok, I'm still doing well!

That's all for now. I've been enjoying being busy. OH, and....

GO CELTICS!!! Tonight they have the chance to close out the Cavs in 6, and shut everybody up! LET'S GOOOO!

OK, I'm out.

Peace and Love. ♥


Helluva Week

Labels: , , , , , , , , , - Saturday, May 8, 2010

Ah! It's been a crazy week. Lots of UPs and DOWNs! But things are good and I have NOTHING to complain about and EVERYTHING to be thankful for.


Mom and I settled on a place to live after much debate and discouragement. We were told by a realtor that basically we would have NO chance of getting approved on a lease application without adequate employment/income. We were really trying to avoid apartment living (for obvious reasons), but we realized that financially it was the best decision. And I knew that wherever we ended up, we would make it a "home" because we'd be together. SO....We will be living in a 2 bedroom apartment near Shoreline called "the hunt club." I knew it was nice because Ashley lives there, and I'd been several times and been impressed with the space/cost/community. Here are a few pictures of our place:

Living Room Area

Balcony

My Bathroom

Kitchen/Laundry Area


It'll definitely be a big adjustment, but I'm kind of looking forward to the change. Plus they have a fitness center, 2 pools, tennis courts, and more. I think Jazmyne will enjoy it too.


In other GREAT news, I will start working at Maggiano's Monday! I'm really excited. I definitely willed myself into that job. I'm going to be doing carry out during the week and hostessing on weekends. Matt (the manager) instantly loved me, and knew I would be great for it. There are bound to be some fun new friends! And I am excited to get to work with Elizabeth on weekends until she leaves in a month!


And speaking of Elizabeth, I love her so much. It's always amazing to have a best friend who you have SO much in common with, it's scary. We stayed up until 4:30am having deep convos about life, reminiscing, and talking about hope for the future. It reminded me of a night we had 8 years ago when we first became best friends, our first sleepover back in '02. She keeps me young! LOL. Anyway, she's amazing and will be successful in law school. I just hope she comes back when it's over! Or maybe before it's over! :(

And we have to lay down some tracks in the studio! I'm so excited to be able to explore my performing urges in other genres besides opera. I feel so liberated, like I'm no longer in a box. Opera was never my first love. I just spent so much time working at it that I excelled - but I'd really like to do some contemporary and quazi musical theater type stuff. Singing and teaching is going to be so amazing. I know that by continuing to perform, it will help me better relate to my students. Teenagers also have a lot of respect for people that are doing what they want to be. I'm excited to be busy again.

Also, Ashley and I went to my good ole friend Jake Raines' birthday show last Friday. It was so great seeing him after 5 years, but kind of a shame it'd been so long. He looks so different, in a good way.


I hope to be able to reconnect with a lot of old friends now that I'm back. I know I won't see people super often, but I want to reestablish some of those relationships.

Anyway, I'm happy. Time to go have a Saturday morning walk with mom. I've been doing so well. I'm -12 lbs! Keeping up the lifestyle change! :)

Peace and love. ♥


Warm feelings

Labels: , , , , , - Thursday, April 29, 2010

I'm back in Austin! YAY! It's been great. But first, I suppose I should recap the last days of Boston:


Thursday:
Awesome Earth day festivities that included Avatar on bluray at Julia's and some amazing pizza.

Friday:
LAST day of PT, lots of errands including lugging a 32" TV 3 blocks. You know, people in Boston don't offer assistance when they see a lady struggling.

Awesome night of Celtics, Prosecco, and amazing quotes with Sarah & Ben.

Saturday:
Lots of car packing, and a night of INTERESTING one act operas at Longy with Kelli, and Fred's amazing performance!


We also got to meet Sapphira Cristàl...


Sunday:
LAST day of church, plus Applebee's and a funeral. Fun stuff. (Applebee's, not the funeral...)


OUTSTANDING dinner with Fredsie at Upstairs on the Square.







Monday:
PT performance, finally finished packing the car, and then...

AMAZING going away dinner at Sunset. I was so overwhelmed. Everyone came to tell me how much they loved me and will miss me. And the best part was the AMAZING birthday song followed by cheers throughout the restaurant. ROCK STARS. It wasn't my birthday btw...hahaha I LOVE THOSE GUYS!!! I wish I'd gotten pics of everyone.





To see more, check out my facebook album: http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2668029&id=23400627&l=aedf118798

The next day, this is what I had to say:

So now I'm back in Austin and I'm feeling so amazing. Not only to be home and spend time with my family and besties, but I've finally started exercising. It feels so amazing. The past 2 mornings, mom and I have been getting up in the morning and walking around the track in our back yard. Today I jogged and walked. I have no idea how much I weigh, but I feel amazing. And I can feel myself losing fat. It's such an amazing feeling, to get healthy. I'm so happy that after the weekend of high caloric intake, I got right back on track! Here's to health!

♥♥♥

Wheel of Fortune

Labels: , , , , , , - Monday, April 26, 2010

It's 5 AM and I'm awake. Ugh. I am having to sleep on the couch because I sold my mattress yesterday. I went to sleep without turning on the fan or the AC, and needless to say, I woke up sweating. So I turned on the TV, and of course there's NOTHING on TV at 5 AM besides infomercials. Luckily, I have some episodes of Wheel of Fortune on the DVR that I haven't watched. (Yes, I DVR Wheel of Fortune. Don't judge me.)


I'm finding that I have a million thoughts running through my head. Still thinking about the amazing dinner I had last night with Fred at "Upstairs on the Square" in Harvard Square. It was soooo amazing and so special. I honestly don't think a friend has EVER spent that much on me. I felt so special and so grown up. We had a bottle of some AMAZING Riesling, "Hot Dates" for an appetizer along with tomato soup and an asparagus dish. For main courses: I had a seared chicken dish with some kind of lima beans and greens, and Fred had this amazing halibut dish with cucumber and herbs. Then we both had dessert - he had some gourmet chocolate turtles and I had a "zebra cake" with chocolate ice cream, which I could NOT finish. I tried!! But it was such an amazing evening. I don't know if any date I ever have will top it. Good luck, men of the world! :) What fantastic friends I have.

(Amandeep just won $52,000 all cash!)

Yesterday was my last church day. It was kinda sad. I had a solo that I completely effed up. I was so afraid of running out of breath and hitting the top note well, that I screwed up the notes in between... Not the best way to end it, but it's ok. LOL. I got to be amused by Dorsey's amazing "Wolfie and Esmerelda" puppet show. I love watching the children's innocent little faces as they watch the puppets, and I notice that some of them REALLY believe it's the puppets talking. It's so precious. Kids sunday was always my favorite. I wish they would have sung a song too. They're so good. Then after church we had to sing a funeral, so between the services Sarah, Ben, Caleb, and I went to Applebee's, which was super fun (and more calories). But worth it.

I'm also thinking about crap for today. I have yet to hear from the people who are supposed to be picking up my car today about when they are getting it. So, I'm a little worried about that. And I'm still worried if the rest of my clothes will even fit!! AHH. It'll be ok... Then, I have one last PT performance which will consume about 3 hours of my day. For one 3 minute scene. LOL. It's ok though. I guess I'm just concerned about coordinating that with the car pick up.

But I'm really excited about tonight. It's my last night in Boston and I'm spending it with the people that have been the most awesome in my life here. We're gonna go have dinner/drinks at Sunset. Hopefully I will be hungover for my early flight tomorrow. LOL.

(2nd episode of wheel: there's a REALLY annoying woman named Erika who is freaking out about everything. Pat said he didn't know if he could do the full half hour. LMAO. I would have said the same thing. We all know how low key I am when it comes to getting excited. LOL. )

It's soooo hard to stick to a healthy eating schedule/menu when you're being social. It's sooo nice hanging out with everything but this weekend has been so bad, food wise. Too much eating out. And then Tuesday is my brother's birthday so that will be difficult. But I think it's nice that I've allowed myself to be treated this weekend. It'll be easy to get back to my routine, and I won't feel so "deprived." Health experts say it's healthy to treat yourself every now and again, as long as you're eating healthy 80% of the time. That way, it's not really a "diet" but more of a general re-wiring of your brain and the way you think about eating. So, I think I'm doing pretty well! Plus I've lost about 8 pounds. :) And my hip is good so I will begin exercising as soon as I get home. (Although, I suppose all this lugging crap up and down the stairs has been pretty good exercise too) And I'm gonna force my mom to get out there with me! Yay for health!

That's all for now. Next blog will be more exciting with pictures and such. Erika has calmed down a little, so I'm gonna see if she wins anything. lol.

Peace and Love :)





Happy Earth [Pandora] Day!

- Thursday, April 22, 2010

OMG. What a great day! I don't have much to say, except - HAPPY EARTH DAY! I will remind you all of my amazing Earth Day message from last year:



Enjoy that! :)

Also, I woke up today with Avatar on the brain. I was sooooooo excited. So I got ready for class, and promptly ran to Target to grab it...lol. I watched it with Julia at her house. And pizza. Good times. AVATAR IS THE BEST MOVIE EVER.


(Notice the blue nails.)

I see you. :)



My newest obsession

- Tuesday, April 20, 2010

So...those of you who know me well know that i have a tendency to quickly and intensely become obsessed/infatuated with things and/or people (ie: Avatar, Weddings, Glee). This odd Piscean quality that I possess was displayed quite nicely yesterday when I was asked to look up a song for my friend called "Billionaire" by Travie McCoy, featuring...


Bruno Mars.

So he starts off the song singing, and the first thing I thought was "wow I really love his voice," and I quickly searched for more music, "wow I REALLY like his music...and his style...wow he's really cute...omg he's so hot." And after about 15 minutes I was in full stalker mode. I had developed a full-on adolescent celebrity crush. He's so dreamy. Soon I also learned that he was the same guy who sings the hook in "Nothin on youuuu baby." And his real name is Peter Hernandez. And he's from Hawaii.


His solo album comes out May 11. Check him out. I know I am...




(Left, obvi)

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